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  2. Disney1981

    I finally did it. I cut the cord. I tried to do it half-assed by leaving a window open so that we could at least wish each other a happy birthday or Merry Christmas, or keep each other apprised of major events in our life, such as when our dad dies (he's 80). But I also gave him a way out by saying that if I didn't hear from him, I would know that he rejects the idea. I thought that if that happened, I would be sad but not depressed. I thought I actually had a quiet acceptance. I was wrong. I haven't heard from him, and now my sadness is turning in to depression once again. This is the one thing that prevented me from cutting that cord for so long. I knew it would hurt. But I also know that it will be temporary, and I will get over it. I just hope it doesn't take too long.

    1. cedarforest

      cedarforest

      I'm hoping you can maintain your strength to do what's bound to be the best possible thing in a bad situation. No one wins with GSA, & everyone comes out losing something. But the good news is that you, and you ALONE, are in the position to lose as little as possible, plus learn some extremely powerful lessons about life and yourself. You have a husband who has taken you back although you have hurt him deeply. You can now work on putting your life back together with the knowledge of why you've done the things that you've done. Knowledge is power, knowledge frees you from bondage, and your knowledge can help you set a long, slow, but profound course toward healing wounds that have caused you so much pain. What you have learned can keep you from the revolving door of destructive cycles that have plagued you in your past. Those are all some fantastic tools at your disposal to be used towards building a future full of promise.

      I will never say I'm glad about my choices when I was in the grip of GSA, but I will say that the things I've learned from my experience in healing from it is among the most incredible and enlightening tools I've gained in learning how to make better choices and pursue a better life for myself and all those who truly love me. 

      If you like the things you get from Rae, Lostsister,  and Cedarforest (plus other wonderful people on this site), then remember this. None of us were who we have become now. In fact we were horribly broken, until we went thru the crisis of GSA, gained the knowledge and tools to become different people, then go thru the metamorphosis of changing from a caterpillar (who crawls) to a butterfly (that flies). Our lives are far from perfect, we still struggle, but we struggle with hope and knowledge that all struggles are temporary and all noble goals are worth it and will be RICHLY rewarded if we don't quit.

    2. Rae

      Rae

      Write me

    3. Rae

      Rae

      Write me

  3. Rae

    Hey thanks for joining everyone!

  4. Disney1981

    I haven't written in a while, and I've decided to check in. I have a big decision to make. In my head, i know what I have to do, but my heart does not want to make the choice. When things came to a head with my husband, when I thought he might leave me, I sent my HB a goodbye e-mail basically telling him that this would be the last time he would hear from me, that I always loved him and always will, and if my husband were not in the picture, that things would be different. When I sent him the e-mail about it being the last time he would hear from me, his response was "Even through your work e-mail?" I tried to cut the cord, but he would not let me go. I should have said yes or ignored him altogether, but I just couldn't. That man has a spell on me, and I can't seem to break free. He thinks "talking about our feelings" is ok and not harmful to the people we love (my husband; his girlfriend). I've talked to my sister, my counselor, my psychiatrist. . . . I know what I have to do, but I am finding it difficult to take that step. I really don't want to cut the cord, but doing so would be healthier for me and the people in my life. But it will also cause a tremendous amount of pain. I don't want to feel that pain again. 

    Tomorrow (10/23) I leave on a 4-day cruise with my siblings (the half-brother and half-sister with whom I was raised) and our respective spouses. I am looking forward to this cruise, but it means that I will be out of contact with my other half-brother. I keep telling myself and others that perhaps the time away from one another will bring me some clarity. But, honestly, I am not sure it will. I told my counselor that I would write about my dilemma here where I know I will not be judged. 

    I am so grateful for a place where I can express my feelings and my heart and get help without judgment. Thank you, Rae, for creating this site. Maybe when I get back on Friday, I will have some advice on how I can cut the cord and not cause too much pain to myself. Impossible?

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    • Jenson
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    • Lost Sister

    Hello, 

    Not really sure what to do here.

    1. Lost Sister

      Lost Sister

      well..Hello is a good start :)

       

    • Rae
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    • JulieB

    Hi JulieB! Welcome to the forum. If you have any questions,feel free to pm me. Glad you founds us :)

  6. mjam

    ...

  7. mjam

    Beth

  8. Gladee

    i cant join chat room not working

  9. Gladee

    Im feeling terrible... im the wife of my gsa husband who is currently very down, confused he was adopted meet his mother as teenager and their relationship became infused with blurred boundaries and his now his daughter who who is in her 20 the same issues. we have known each other for over 25 years and i new these encounter were goin to happen but the sexual lines have now been crossed in the past with the mother and now with the daughter , he has just talked to me yesterday and i found th...

    • Rae
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    • aussiegirl63

    Welcome to the forum! Feel free to contact me for any questions or concerns!

    1. aussiegirl63

      aussiegirl63

      Thank you Rae, appreciate it.

    • Rae
    •   
    • Clio69

    Hello, welcome to the forum. Please post in the Intro section asap. We look forward to meeting you!

    • Rae
    •   
    • Lisa

    Hi Lisa! Welcome to the Forum. I look forward to getting to know about you. :)

    • Rae
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    • Marina

    Hi Marina! Welcome! If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to PM me. :)

    1. Marina

      Marina

      Hi Rae :)

      Thank you so much. I`m from Germany and I searched the last 2months and this is the only website that I feel really comfortable.

      If I find my courage I will post my story.

      :)

    • Rae
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    • lilianne

    Welcome to the Forum lilianne, Your profile pic is interesting. I think of being on a desert island with my gsa. s the only place where we would feel free. I also feel the isolation...

    1. Rae

      Rae

      Glad your here! :)

  10. lilianne

    mutual GSA with my son

  11. mjam

    Wookie

    • Rae
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    • Beth

    Welcome to he forum. pm's are welcome :)

    • Rae
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    • HeartDance

    HAPPY NEW YEAR HEARTDANCE!

    • Rae
    •   
    • Dom58

    Welcome to the forum Dom. Looking forward to hearing from you!

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